Showing posts with label concussions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label concussions. Show all posts

Sunday, 27 March 2016

I am in the worst shape of my life.

My level of fitness has always had ups and downs, it comes with the territory of doing sports and competing in weight division driven martial arts.  The last couple years have been a pretty steady decline with only momentary blips of increase that quickly fade and end up even further down the chart. 

I've dealt with a plethora of injuries, many of which were to my brain (and knees and wrists and shoulders and who know's what else, I've lost track of all the joints I've damaged in some way or another).  Most of them you can just rest / physio and carry on some x weeks later and you're fine.  

Concussions don't work that way.  The current accepted treatment is to stop all physical activity until initial symptoms are gone.  Then slowly follow the return to play protocols which are basically baby steps in level, with steps back if you get any symptoms again.  Here's a nice chart for the curious. http://www.concussiontreatment.com/images/SCI_RTP_Illustration.pdf

Now, there's nothing in there that says "eat all the things" while you're not doing any exercise, but when you'r depressed b/c you can't do shit, and you have no idea how long it'll be this time to get back on the mats, and your a dutch emotional eater, it's what happens.  At least to me anyway.  I've resisted it sometimes and have made grand statements on myfitnesspal a couple times saying i'm done with that destructive behaviour, but without fail when something happens (another injury, or a special event, or party, or a work lunch that is full of badness(delicious badness)) I derail and we're back to eating all the badness.   So, that's a really bad combination that's been happening on and rarely off for the last sayyy 2 or 3 years.   

There have been moments of clarity, like prepping for old man worlds, but then I landed on my head, and go a concussion.   Then again shortly before our vacation to cali/vegas for training.  Then I got need in the head 1/2 way through the trip and got another (minor) concussion.  I'm pretty much in the clear from that one. I was able to do a bunch of snow shovelling, and have been teaching classes and whatnot so I'm at about stage 3 of that recover chart, with likely hitting 4 this week.  But, to be honest, I'm terrified of going back to rolling, and the eventuality of competing.  

Having a concussion sucks and dealing with the post-concussion symptoms/syndrome is different for everyone.  Some people are fine after a couple days,  some people, it's weeks or months, some people it never goes away.  In the MMA and Jiu Jitsu community, there have been a few pretty public cases.  TJ Grant was supposed to be fighting for the light weight title, but he got a concussion training jiu jitsu back in 2013 and hasn't been seen since.  Jared Weiner in 2014 had a pretty scary string of concussions that he's lucky to have fully recovered from (http://www.graciemag.com/2014/10/jared-weiner-shares-his-story-of-why-we-must-be-more-aware-of-head-injuries/)  I HIGHLY recommend you watch/listen to the podcast he did with take it uneasy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4ElrMdtFfE).   

For me, personally, the concussions I sustained 2012 and 2014 were the worst. They were the hardest impact(s)  and left me off the mats the longest.  I've had 2 since then as well, but they were more minor and were from impcts to the head that 99% of the population probably would have noticed.  But I did, and still dealt with the symptoms for weeks.  So of the symptoms I've struggled with over the years from the concussions are:  headaches (of course),  depression,  irritability, weird moodyness, inability to focus,  trouble making decisions (even minor ones like, what am I ordering to drink at dinner) and forgetfulness.  

Speaking of focus, let's get back on track, this wasn't supposed to be a blog post about concussions and how shitty they are (SPOILER: they really suck, and need to be respected, or you'll end up like me).  It was supposed to be a bit of an accountability post.  This is me, telling you, that i'm in shit shape and i'm ready to claw my way out of this injury and concussion induced funk and get back to some semblance of shape and fitness.  

I haven't had the great luck with going public with my goals / plans / challenges.  Not that long ago I was going to do 30 days of fitness where I did jiu jitsu or lifting or something every day for 30 days (not a big deal for most, but coming back from an injury it's a good way to get back into the habit of fitness).  I got a concussion on day 3.    But keeping them quiet doesn't usually work either, because last time I tried that I tweaked my knee shortly after I had my goals all set up and since I hadn't really told anyone, my extra shitty moods took everyone by surprise.

But, I'm a very goal driven person.  I NEED goals / milestones to motivate me.  My eventual goal is a return to competition,  but I need to set some smaller short and medium term goals to get there.  So here they are:

1.  Get my weight under control.  Short term: -28 pounds.  Medium/Long term - 40 pounds. Maybe one day crazy goal: -52 pounds
2.  Get my fitness back.  It's a lot more the just weight.  My cardio is abysmal and I am mega week.
3.  Get my confidence back. Confidence might not be the right word, maybe trust, maybe whatever the opposite of fear is, who knows.  This one's the hardest, and also the most important.  It's a weird balance between respecting my body/brain (the limitations, the potential for injury/concussions(which, get's higher every time you get one btw)  and still going out there and training / rolling / eventually competing again.  

I probably should have reversed the order of that list because it's basically reverse order of importance.  But it's also in order of attainability the way it is now I think.  Also I think they will cascade into each other,  getting my weight down will lead to improved cardio /fitness by nature and improving both of those two will help me gain that confidence back.

So, there you have it.  I am going to TRY to keep a bit of a log of my progress, I would love to say "I'm going to post weekly updates"  but honestly, that's probably way to ambitious with how busy I am with work / training / teaching.  You have my permission to hassle me if you don't hear from me though, please do in fact.

I'm taking suggestions for blog post topics as well, aside from these progress updates.  So if there's anything you want me to write about let me know!  I'm toying with the idea of an "Ask a ref" type post series where people can send me questions and I'll answer them and/or get answers from my referee friends about particular situations, scoring questions and so on.  

PS:  If your dealing with a concussion, or any injury and want to talk to someone who can relate, hit me up anytime.  I've been through the ringer and back a few times and I can likely relate to what you are going through.  

My facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/patricia.vandermeer.bjj/
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jiujitsupatricia/
My MyFitnessPal:  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/mmaqueen

 Lastly: Thank you Redstar Kimonos for always having my back, no mater how low I got and even though I'm probably the least active competitor on the team these days.  I WILL put these amazing gi back on the podium soon.  


   



Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Montreal Grappling: April 28th 2013


This past Saturday we made the short (well, relatively short, compared to Chicago and New York) trip down the 401 to Montreal for the Grappling Industries Montreal: Mundials edition.  It was a lovely trip, traffic was pretty much perfect and we made great time.

The day started off with a trip to the dentist, which is never very fun, but a semi-necessary evil.  I didn't go to the dentist for the longest time because I had no coverage and was a poor student, then house poor, then jiu jitsu poor. Now, my work, and Jon's work both have coverage, and we are DINKS, so the dentist is a-ok.  Anyway... everything was fine at the dentist, no cavities! Yay!

So we picked up Stephen around 11:15 and hit the road.  We made great time out of Toronto, and the 401 was smooth sailing all along.  We stopped for gas at the Odessa service center (just before Kingston) and carried on straight to the hotel.  

We stayed at the A Loft hotel, by the airport.   It's a weird hotel.  It's right on the airport property, so we had to pay $10 parking, but compared to the downtown hotels, that's nothing.  The hotel had a strange vibe.  Hipster, modern, but loft-like - so tall, rough ceilings, and weird use of space.  The front desk lady was very friendly and helpful, and had excellent English.  The room was nice and large, but only had a shower, and the bathroom door was a sliding door, that didn't really seal or sound proof too well.  I swear that is my most common complaint when it comes to hotel rooms.  When you’re staying at a hotel, with 3 or 4 or 5 people, you don't really need or want to hear them all do their business.  The room had 2 queen beds, and a little couch/bench thing, that someone could sleep on in a pinch.   It also had a very large desk, and a very nice TV.   The really neat thing was that the TV had a box with a bunch of different plugins that hooked straight to the TV.  The hotel also had cables to lend out, but they had run out when we asked. 

We got directions to Amir (which is a Middle Eastern chain in the area) from the front desk lady, and Jon and I headed out for some food.  Stephen was a fatty, so he stayed at the hotel watches streams of people playing video games.  I don't understand this phenomenon, but apparently it's quite popular, 100’s of thousands of people were watching it.  Weird.  We picked up some tasty food and then wanted to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a cable, and maybe some drinks and snacks, and it was closed.   Walmart closed at 6:00pm on a Saturday.  What is wrong with Dorval?  Anyway... some interesting traffic circles and construction later and we were back at the hotel.

The food was tasty, I asked for chicken shawarma, but got beef, but that's ok.  I enjoyed it anyway.   We streamed the fights on my netbook for a while, and then on Stephan's laptop after he fell asleep.  Some decent fights, but some very strange calls!  Like the instant stoppage for the eye poke.  Wrong call by the referee. He should have had the doctor come in and check him out, give him a chance to recover a bit, and keep fighting.  I fell asleep during the first fight of the main card, and still haven't watched the rest.  I did see the clip of Jon Bone's toe going all crazy. Ewww, that is freaky.    While we were watching some of the fights, Stephan the Fatty took a super super hot shower, and turned the entire bathroom into a sauna pretty much,  to sweat out a few lbs.   Not ideal, but the best we could come up with without a tub, and no Sauna in the hotel.

In the morning, we checked out, and headed to weigh in.   Jon weighed in at a whopping 162lbs with all his clothes on.  That boy needs to move down to feather weight.  He is too small for lightweight. But he likes candy and pizza more than fighting people his own size so whatever.   Stephan squeaked by right on the 1lb allowance of 169, wearing much less the Jon.    I weighed in at 152, with ALL my clothes on, except my shoes.  Hello Middle weight, it’ll be nice to see you at the Ontario Open.  It didn't really matter how much I weighed because the division is +141. 

After weighing in, we headed to our traditional breakfast place for the Montreal Grappling tournaments, Cora (previously known, and always for me known as Cora's, calling it just Cora is awkward and dumb).  We like to go here because it's just down the road, and has a lovely selection, and, there is almost always someone with us who is cutting the weight closes and starving by the time weigh ins come around.  They are pretty quick and, unlike the ones around here, it's not very busy.  Jon got the maple latte, which was disappointing, so, don't bother with that if you are in there.  It sounds so promising, but does not deliver.

Back to the tournament.... I had 3 matches with my friend Sissi.  She's a ridiculously good blue belt from BTT Canada.   We fought once before at the Toronto IBJJF tournament and I won by armbar.  That was when we were both in medium heavy.  I believe she has been fighting in Heavy for the last couple tournaments, but barely, so the weight difference isn't really enough to be a factor.    I'll be honest, I underestimated her.  I came in expecting the Sissi I competed against in Toronto, and got a version about 5x better!   Man, she has gotten good! 

I won our first match on points; I believe the score was 3-10 or so.  I can't remember exactly.  I got a pass, a sweep, and maybe mount?  She definitely got a pass, but that may have been it.  In our second fight, she came out more aggressive, and scored early.  At one point, with about 1 min left, I was in her guard, and she went for a hip bump/kimura/sit up sweep, and her elbow caught me in the side of the head and eye.  I panicked.  It was bad. My brain was like "Ahhhh I’ve got a concussion, ahhh panic, ahhhh you can't fight anymore ahhh ahhhh ahhhh” I completely stopped fighting and she got to mount and I'm still panicking.   I tapped and it took me a while to re-compose myself.  I wasn't actually hurt, but I clearly have some mental shit to get over still.  After the match I told the match setter I couldn't fight anymore, and sat down.   I thought about it for a bit, calmed down, and realized, it was all in my head, and I was actually fine.  So I asked to do the 3rd fight, Sissi was all for it, and David and Mathieu were fine with it as well.   So, third fight, she was super aggressive again, and I was trying to play the new stuff I was working on, with DLR, and rolling to recover my guard and inverting and whatnot.  It worked OK at some points, but eventually I ended up flattened out on my stomach, with her hooks in.  For like 3 minutes.  Throughout the match she had racked up a few stalling penalties and was 1 call from being disqualified.  She kept busy enough to avoid the DQ, but didn't really go for anything.  It was pretty frustrating to be stuck on the bottom like that, but it gave me motivation to tidy up my game and not get stuck like that again!

Jon's second opponent forgot his pants.  How do you go to a tournament without pants?  I always bring 2 full sets of gear for a tournament, gis, shorts, rashguard, sports bra.  Two of each.  You never know what could happen, and this way, if anything does, I've got it covered.   Did he not have a teammate he could borrow pants from? Or buy a pair or a gi from the gi hive, who was there pimping some wares.  They actually had some really nice stuff, cheap Redstar gis, Tatami gis, and scramble rashguards. Also, Gi Soap, which isn't for washing your gi, it's for washing your body, after doing gi things. 

Jon went 1-2 in his matches.  He scored his first points in almost a year and first points at blue belt.   Jon has a weird style; He pretty much doesn't pay attention to the score and constantly tries to sub people.  It works, sometimes, but he tends to lose on points if it gets to the end.   His last guy was a judo guy, and it was insanely obvious. He had no idea what the rules were, and almost got disqualified for stalling, in the first minute and a half.  He sat in side control doing NOTHING for almost 2 minutes.  Then, moved to mount, and did the same thing.  The only reason he wasn't disqualified was because Jon was squirming so much it made him look busy.    I love to see the judo guys come out and compete, but know the rules, and play the game.  You don't see basketball players trying to play soccer and carrying the ball or dribbling it down the field, do you? 

Stephan went 1-3 in his fights.   He had some tough guys, and the weight cut really affected his stamina and power.  He gave the guys a hard time though, and got a chance to work his DLR guard a bit.  We are working on the mental side of the game together for the next few weeks and He is going to ruin people’s day at the Ontario Open and Worlds.    Oh, the fight he won, it was with a beautiful loop choke.  It was nicely set up, and the guy didn't see it coming. 

One competitor that stood out to me on Sunday was Kieran from Lin martial arts.   I've seen him compete before I think, with mixed results.  I noticed him warming up with a team mate and was really impressed with the flow of their roll and the level of skill they were showing.   In all the matches except one he showed some really nice open guard stuff and pretty much dominated the division.   He fought the judo guy Jon fought and got stalled out with the guy in his guard not trying to pass or do anything.  It was a shame to see, but I think it was a great lesson for him.  I'm really looking forward to watching him compete in the future.

We didn't stick around for much after we were done fighting.  We were looking at a 6.5 hours (ish) drive home and work early in the morning.  We stuck around long enough to be able to give Mike B a ride home, and took off.  Mike went 3-1 for the day, and, probably should have been 4-0, but I didn't see the entire match he lost, so I cannot say for sure.

The drive home was pretty uneventful as well.  There was this one van, who insisted on staying in the fast lane, and not driving very fast.   They would go 105 for a while, then 110, then 115, then 105, then 125 for a while.  It drove me crazy.  They were causing all sorts of traffic headaches, and people kept tailgating me because, you know, by tailgating the person in front of you, it gets the car, 10 cars up, that is the reason for the slowdown, to go faster.  

It started raining around Oshawa, which caused some traffic slowdowns, but nothing major, with the detour to Brampton, and dropping of Stephan, it was about 7 hours all together to get home.  Not bad at all. Considering last time we went to Montreal it took us 19 hours to get there and about 9 to get home.  I love summer road trips, except ones that start on Friday afternoon, and involve going through Toronto traffic.

The tournament itself was smooth, as usual. The mats were cleared at 9:55am and matches were being called right at 10:00am.   Things went smooth all day, except when the few guys who registered and didn't show up were called.  That caused a bit of a delay, but nothing Major.  In the future, Grappling Industries will be giving refunds, instead of no-pay for people who earn a free entry to their events.  I think this will help keep people honest, and hopefully keep the now-shows to a minimum.    What they should have done, was cross reference the weighin list, or the check-in at the door list, with the draw sheets, before handing them to the tables, so that they would know if the guy was there or not.  This would take some time, but will save time down the road.  Hopefully, in the future, they will be able to do that.

The new medals came in! And they are nice!   I didn't get one though :(  All of the silvers were stuck in transit lol.  I probably would have just used the old medals for one more event, but Hey, I like how excited these guys are about making their events better each time.    Like I said, last time, the next thing they need to get is some kind of noise maker, to signal the end of a match.  You can't always keep an eye on the board as a referee, and it's difficult to hear the score keeper sometimes.  Also, the mat size, as I mention after every event.  They need bigger mat areas, or even just an extra row of black between the mats.  It would make for a lot less stoppages, and would be much safer in general. 


So, this weekend I am heading to the OJA coaching course.  I don't imagine I will get much out of it, as I have already completed NCCP all the way up to Level 3, which is the level you need to coach everywhere but the Olympics (for Judo). But hey, I could pick up a tidbit or two, and it's always good to attend these kinds of things to keep up with the times and be on the same page as everyone.

Next weekend is the Ontario Open. The BIGGEST and highest level tournament in Ontario, probably in Canada.  They are giving away 10 trips to worlds, and tons of rashguards, belts, gis, medals, trophies and other crap.  It's going to be an amazing event.  Registration closes on Monday, so, if you’re in the area, or driving distance, or flying distance, seriously, if you can get there, Do it!

2 weeks after that is WORLDS.  Yup, we are going to California Baby!!   Jon and I are flying out on May 24th, training at Art of Jiu Jitsu till the tournament (4 days), and then competing at the Mundials!   I've already got 8 girls in my division!  EIGHT!!!!  Can you believe it???  That is more purple belt women than have attended any of the tournaments I have been to since December, and they are ALL in my division!   I am so excited!!  Alasdair and Stephan are also going to worlds.  They are heading up 5 days earlier, and, coming back with us Sunday night.    It's going to be an amazing 10 days.

The weekend we are in California training, is Grappler's Quest and FILA.  If you are in town, you should check them out. They should be pretty great events.  Grappler's Quest is giving out trips to Las Vegas to some of the absolute division winners, and lots of other cool prizes to.  The FILA event is a qualifier for the FILA worlds, which will take place later in the summer, in London, ON.

I was supposed to go train today, but instead, I got some groceries, cooked some lunches and finished registering and paying for the camp.  I suppose these are all things that needed to be done, but I hate missing class.  It's really difficult juggling a full time job, training, conditioning training, teaching classes 2x a week, and finding time to do things like cook, laundry, and other household things. Not to mention going on competition road trips on weekends, when most people would be doing the catch up on the non-work-things.  Oh well, this is the life I choose, and despite this little bit of whining, I love every minute of it.

Hey you, do you have a company or brand you want to get more exposure for, how about sponsoring me?  I'll pimp your wears, I'll advertise your stuff, I’ll spam my friends (well, maybe not spam them, but share stuff with them).  I could really use some financial assistance for worlds and whatnot.  I've already spent about 5000 bucks this year on tournament trips, and that's not including all the money I have spent towards worlds. 

See YOU on the mats!